store begins

uniform shelves and benign clothes
oh it is mine
and i discover painting a dress on white instead
and sidekicks dancing in front beside me
merch managers first assigned the bathroom mirror paint
and keep the leg jutting out graffiti
my request
my vision and his execution different
and i was too busy with constant frenzy of newness to discover
one day lip and lids wipe the counter edge with the large lipstick
performance
my assistant
i wasted my time on the floor
post cop cuddle fur wrapped wall
merch manager all night long rearrangement

give me a store space
and i will hoist my canopy bed to the ceiling catching glimpses of the soft shinned hawk flimsy skirt flutters in the wind
and the goose following the paper mache goose with freshly popped balloon top
poor innocence/stupid?

i was big and pregnant prepping for maternity leave
hand over assistant/general manager

halloween i appeared in costume
and the pumpkin man sitting in the old time lawn chair in the middle of the mall
distributing branded candy
and his hat pops up and spreads [oh the mechanics of that creation]
my flat stomach
and dancing in front
window live models
and two were really photos that i discovered only upon feeling their cold flatness.

the little people large plywood pushers that were meant for a parade
and my reaction was that i would have made of posterboard instead,
but i had workers, and they deserved their freedom, as long as they were producing
and i guessed the large heavy contraption was allright as long as it was to be powered by many people
and the price was right 236 = affordable by a nonprofit org, and my workers argued against that pearl, and i mentioned my observations of individuals in groups, and how they happily tossed about a 20 if they believed in a cause, and surely some group would believe in the cause of pushing a large, heavy plywood little people icon for the halloween parade. and i pointedly imagined and indicated with my gaze towards the gangly member of the rcyb

the photo cut out reps of the live models was, i determined acceptable, because they were my workers, and how could i expect anyone to do my actual bidding and remain still for so many hours, but my solution was to move a body part every 10 minutes in such a controlled martha graham manner.

alas, communication had failed
because i was taking on too much
and no time at the drawing table
simply heading up a large org of workers
who were doing my supposed bidding
but i was so lenient that they were really beyond my control
and the outcome was no longer my vision.

this is the world of mine that i will rejoin inside my brain.now.

dictionary

destruction
reassembly

people wear their

intentions
giving sugary objects
pallid rising


how did i end up in the office space newly upgraded photoshop to the the halloween version and the offerings of sitting thanksgiving in mourning of this terrible world situation. two thousand plus dollar check made me obligated to sit the day away organizing my new office, and discovering that the previous tenant had been murdered, and that a coworker is still a target for murder.
cuts through the super expensive restaurant, watching the people casually throwing their money away.

i can't help salivating seeing bills
that are to them, pocket change.
and the money, promise of more small bills, i gave up my autonomy, and joined the "family"
knowing that i would be looking for escape as early as the next day.

putAtoring

this one has a lot of blank guts.
buy it from fifth planet press
register your putAtoring

contrasts

everything & nothing
non & on

geeky obsessions
fluid races
should have been asleep then.

angel boat.
coffee stained carriages.
pulled up the trashereds.

editing

cuts out
?????????????????
////////////////////////
constant

should have listed you dr. dr.
i have no grasp on myness
and constantly pretendright one day
always feeLight.

, yt.
sohinal full happens e
besides the nothing pen

suddenly t
the air is thickill

f.i ly haveyays?

i will not post this
///////////////////////////////////////
type the letters.pretend.tv.
/////////////////////

whatup

what i've been working on lately:

• putAtoring books
  - obsessively making lots and lots of these
  - if you see me out, ask and i'll show you some.
  - i'm happy to reserve one for you if you'd like to tell someone you want one for xmas.
  
• editing clothes [being poor means no money to buy new clothes or shoes. fortunately, i know how to sew. my latest endeavor includes turning some ugly clogs into boots. ] [i'm not complaining, i prefer to make my own stuff because it seems that i'm never able to find what i'm looking for when shopping]
• depression = they've been worse lately, and this makes it difficult to get anything done.
  
• art therapy. it seems that i've not yet come to terms with the horrible loss of love in my life that i suffered years ago. yesterday, i realized that i need to do some art about this. bear with me, please. this process is bound to include lots of drawing, poetry, and ritualistic actions. some will be private, and i'm bound to do some stuff in public.